Recently I’ve been reading an autobiography by John Thompson, who was born a slave in Maryland, 1812. He was one of 7 children, and later in his life managed to escape slavery and become a free man.
Now Thompson was a Christian and did not hate slavery. What he did hate, however, was when owners abused their power and treated their slaves in an unjust manner. He believed that those who treated their slaves well were rewarded by God through prosperity and those who didn’t were punished. Thompson describes in his autobiography, that the owners who treated their slaves well, had much more co-operation with their slaves than those who didn’t.
I believe that this applies to our daily lives as well. For example, a Boss who treats his employees in an unjust manner, and makes everyone hate their job only gets those under him to perform as required. While a Boss who treats those under him well, and gets everyone to love their job manages to get high performance out of his employees. While positive sanctions usually achieve a much higher result, negative sanctions create tension and retaliation. I believe that this is Thompson’s perspective.
Thompson believed that treating slaves like actual people, and applying positive sanctions, they would, in turn, help you much more than if you applied negative sanctions without cause.
Recently I just finished reading, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” by Dale Carnegie. I learned many useful social skills through this book, and am trying to implement them in my life. Some short-term goals I have are to remember other’s names and to always smile. Other goals which might take longer to learn would be to start asking meaningful questions to others during conversations, and also to show respect to other’s opinions.
Remembering some one’s name and smiling can really help your interactions with others. Smiling lets you spread happiness to others, something everyone wants to feel. Remembering other’s names is good because it has been proven that someone’s name is to them the most important sound in any language. Therefore, using the other person’s name in conversations tends to make them more interested in what you are saying.
I would also love to learn to start asking meaningful questions to others during conversations. Not just a monotonous, “How are you?” or “How was your day?” But to start asking questions that can really let you know them better, questions like, “Have you done anything interesting this past week?” or, “What would you like to make time for?” Another thing I would like to do is to let others express their opinions about different things, and also to show respect to their opinions. I find that doing so is hard for me because I always manage to find something wrong with it. That is why I should slow down and let others properly explain everything.
I think that implementing these things in my life will improve my social skills and help me not hate the people I dislike as much. Smiling and remembering other’s names can help you have more pleasant interactions with others.